Freddy has his glove, Jason has his Machete and Michael has his knife but sometimes when you just have to get creative especially when there’s oversexed drunk teens to dispatch. So here’s our list of some of the most creative weapon choices in horror history.
Lolipop – The Banana Splits
While this attempt to give the cult children’s TV favourite a Five Nights At Freddy’s twist might not have set the world on fire but it did give us atleast some memorable deaths which when you consider are essentially being carried out by mascot like characters deserves the film a place on the list alone but this death by lolipop which kicks off their murderous rampage is especially memorable.
Basketball – Deadly Friend
Sure when it comes to exploding heads David Cronenberg’s Scanners might be the first one which comes to mind while no doubt one of the most paused moments in movie history. Of course this much overlooked feature from horror maestro Wes Craven also features another of cinema’s great exploding heads courtesy of a basketball launched with the force of a cannonball by the recently revived girl next door (Kristy Swanson) into the head of the grouch next door (Anne Ramsey)
Yard Stick – Child’s Play 2
Everyone’s favourite serial killer turned killer doll Chucky made a memorable return in this sequel which only built on the fun established by the original film but this time he really pulled out some memorable kills which help make it the best film of the franchise including beating a teacher to death with a yard stick in a scene which is actually surprisingly disturbing to watch especially as most of the action is shown off screen with only the glimpses of the ruler rising and falling past the window and Chucky’s maniacal cackling to leave audience on edge.
Steamroller – Maximum Overdrive
Okay this might be kind of a cheat seeing how it’s a possessed steamroller and hence killing using itself but in a film featuring a killer coke machine killing a baseball coach by shooting cans at his head, a truck with a green goblin faceplate and a healthy dose of AC/DC on the soundtrack as part of a deal Stephen King made when he agreed to direct the film which to date remains his sole directing credit.
While the film might not be fantastic, the scene were a steamroller mows down the unsuspecting kid really is in that warped humour kinda way. Two years later we would get a repeat of this scene when Christopher Lloyd’s demented Judge Doom in Who Framed Roger Rabbit and his subsequent revival ensured that our childhood’s got a healthy dose of Disney funded childhood trauma.
Lawnmower – Brain Dead aka Dead Alive
The chainsaw has for years been a mainstay of horror cinema putting in memorable appearences for slasher and hero alike from the classic Texas Chainsaw Massacre and The Evil Dead through to providing a standout moment in the underwelming (for those who read the book first) adaptation of American Psycho. However Peter Jackson having already put chainsaw’s to creative use in his gore soaked debut Bad Taste really upped the ante by having bumbling hero clear the zombie horde out of his house using a petrol driven mower in the gore soaked finale. So effective was Jackson’s film that Shawn of the Dead creators Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright openly stated that they couldn’t use any body part humour in the film because Jackson’s film had done it all!
Hook – I Know What You Did Last Summer
Riding on the success of Scream rebooting modern horror this slasher attempted to introduce it’s own slasher icon with the hook welding fisherman looking to get revenge on the teens who accidently ran him over and left him for dead.
Losing his hand at the end of the first film the hook would be turned into a captain hook style apendage for the forgettable and ohh so imaginativly titled sequels I Still Know What You Did Last Summer and I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer
Bear Mascot Costume – Girl’s Nite Out aka The Scaremaker
If your going to be an iconic slasher you need a memorable look with a mask often being the go to choice from the hockey mask for Jason, the Shatner mask for Michael or that weird Owl head the killer in Stagefright wore. Still why settle for a mask when you can wear the whole costume!!
Certainly this is the mindset for the killer of this overlooked slasher whose killer chooses to stalk college cheerleaders while they engage on a scavanger hunt on their campus wearing possibly the goofiest looking bear suit ever while using serrated knife blades for claws to memorable effect if far from the scariest outfit especially with that goofy grimace.
Pick axe – My Bloody Valentine
Perhaps not the most surprising weapon considering that the killer here is a mining gear clad killer looking to take revenge on the town were the supervisors at the local mine skipped out to a valentine’s day dance instead of checking the methane levels leading to an explosion that trapped many of the miners leaving the sole survivor insane after he was forced to resort to cannibalism to survive.
Here the killer really makes really good use of his pick axe creating some bloody kills as memorable as his getup while the suprisingly decent 3D remake saw the creativity only being added to as it made the most of it’s 3D hook.
Trombone – The Town That Dreaded Sundown
Another cult favourite here the film based on the Texarkana Moonlight Murders of 1946 which saw an unidentifed masked serial killer known as the Phantom Killer who seems to have borrowed Jason’s sack from Friday the 13th Part 2 aswell as his ability to turn anything into a potential weapon including memorably a party horn to the eye as seen in Part 7: The New Blood.
The standout moment of this film though comes when the phantom straps a knife to the end of a trombone and proceeds to stab his victim while playing the instrumentment to memorable effect.
Shears – The Burning
Based on the New York legend of the Cropsey Maniac which would also serve as the inspiration for the rather dull Madman released a year later. Here though the crazed former caretaker returns to take revenge on the summer camp were five years previous he was set on fire when a prank went horribly astray.
Here his weapon of choice is a pair of garden shears which are certainly effectivly used throughout the film including a standout raft attack which saw the film being banned under the Video Nasties act under the 1984 Video Recordings Act before finally being released uncut in 2002. Even with the film now finally released uncut it still has the stigma of marking the start of Harvy Weinstein’s history of predatory behavior who served as one of the films script writers.
Scandals aside the film remains a cult favourite for slasher fans with the use of the shears certainly creating some memorable kills in horror history.
So there’s our list but what is your favourite creative weapon choices? Let us know in the comments section.